Facing Conflict
In my last post
(read it here if you haven’t yet), I presented a challenge to us as believers: To resolve to purposefully and intentionally
live our lives in community with each other. Throughout the entirety of the
Bible, we read of the importance of unity within the Body of Christ. However, history
shows us that the church has always struggled to maintain a sense of unity in
spite of our differences. Current events reveal that this hasn’t changed. Without
a doubt, it will be something that we always have to work at. Today’s post
builds off of the last one, and specifically addresses those times when our
fellow believers disagree with us and/or do things that are irritating, malicious,
or hurtful.
If the
challenge we have is to live in community, then the solution ought to be
simple, right? Just do it! Be an active church member. Share. Help your
neighbor. Be a caring friend. Mentor and disciple those newer in the faith. And
so forth.
Whoa, hold on a
minute! Not so fast… We are talking about people here, after all. People make
mistakes. People can be fickle, and downright mean. I could sit here and relate
how I’ve been hurt by people. I could complain. It might even feel kind of good
to voice what has happened, and what I think of certain individuals because of
it. And because I know you’ve had similar experiences, too (everyone has), you could
commiserate with me. Together we could add more bricks to the walls that we build
to keep ourselves at a distance from our fellow man.
I’ll be honest
with you – I have lived that way at times. At some point I started building
walls. I suspect that many, if not all, of us have to some extent. I remember
being in elementary school, and something happening between a friend and I.
Whatever happened has long been erased from my memory – I’m sure it was nothing
particularly traumatic – but I can still vividly remember the feeling of
betrayal that I was left with. I’m not sure if this was when I started being more
guarded with people or not, but I’m positive that it contributed. Over time,
additional experiences added to my skepticism about getting too close to many
people. I spent many years as a bitter and reactive person… though most people
didn’t know me that way. It was mainly an internal struggle, really only
noticed by a few who were closest to me. When it caused me the most trouble was
when I needed to reach out for help, because I couldn’t do it. My pride and
distrust were strong and I didn’t overcome them for a long time. It ended up
taking a desperate situation to produce some change in that area of my life. I
wish I would have realized sooner…
Offense.
Betrayal. Distrust. Bitterness. We need to realize that the enemy fully intends
to use these types of wounds to his advantage (and our detriment). If given an
inch, he will take a mile. He wants to push us apart. He wants us to remain
walled-off and guarded against each other, because he knows that when we are
together, we are stronger. We need to learn to fight smart! Our battle is not
really against the person standing in front of us, it is with the enemy
positioned behind them. When we pray for discernment and start to learn to
recognize the devil’s schemes, then we can look at what’s happening and say, “No.
Not today. I’m not going to walk into that trap.”
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in
his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand
against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,
but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this
dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you
may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”
- Ephesians 6: 10-13 (NIV)
Regardless of
how we feel when we are wounded, allowing ourselves to become bitter and
hardened against people just isn’t the answer. Our emotions can be extremely
misleading. Putting up walls in an attempt to protect ourselves so that we
don’t get hurt again won’t ever work. It won’t even make us feel better. In
doing this, we’ll just find ourselves growing in hatred and becoming more and
more isolated, as I did. What we initially thought was a healthy independence
will become a toxic poison, eating away at us. We simply weren’t designed to
live that way. Being hurt stinks, obviously. There’s no way around that. No one
chooses to be hurt. When we are hurt, though, we have a choice to make. What
are we going to do? How are we going to respond? Will we immediately react
defensively based on our emotions? Will we wound others in return? Will we
allow that emotional, knee-jerk reaction to run our lives from here on out? Or,
will we pray and seek the Lord’s help to contend with our emotions before we
react? Will we deal with those who hurt us in a Biblical manner (Matthew 18:
15-17)? Will we forgive and allow God to heal our lives so that we can move on
and be free from the burdens that others tried to place on us?
“Bear with each other and forgive one another
if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
- Colossians 3: 13 (NIV)
“A new command I give you: Love one
another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone
will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
- John 13: 34-35 (NIV)
I’ve said it before, and I’m going to keep on saying it: God meant for us to live in community with other believers. He created us with that need. And yes, He knows people! He knows what challenges we will face as we get involved in each other’s lives. PJ and I – it’s no secret that we aren’t perfect. You don’t have to ask around to try and get the scoop; we’ll tell you that ourselves. Guess what? You’re not perfect either! Neither is the person sitting next to you in the pew, the guy running the sound board, the greeter at the front door, or the individual filling the pulpit. Mistakes will certainly be made. Though I’m sure there are exceptions, most of us don’t join a church with a deliberate bent towards injuring someone else’s heart. Invariably at some point it happens, though… because no one is perfect and we all make errors. As in any relationship, work is required. Truly loving others requires making a conscious choice to do so.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but
in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your
requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will
guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
- Philippians 4: 6-7 (NIV)
“All scripture is God-breathed and is
useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so
that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
- 2 Timothy 3: 16-17 (NIV)
The conversation
continues! Let's take a deeper look at church life, and at our personal responsibilities. I’ll be wrapping up this series of posts soon with, “The Community
of Believers, Part Three (Taking Action).”
Click here to read Part Three.
No comments:
Post a Comment
We love comments!