Just after Christmas, our family made the trek back east for a long-overdue visit with family and friends. It had been three years since our last trip, which was the longest stretch for us in quite a while. We were supposed to go in the spring of 2020, but that got delayed by personal circumstances, and also Covid, and then we moved and bought a house and everything… and, well, things don’t always go according to plan (as I’m sure you know). All of us were quite grateful that we were finally able to do it! We had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas and catching up with everyone. PJ and I finally got to meet our first niece (she’s a cutie!). The kids had a blast playing and sledding with their cousins. We always enjoy watching the changing scenery as we cross the country, although we did have some winter weather and nasty road conditions to deal with on both ends of the trip this time. (Thanking God for a safe journey!) It was quite the adventure – nearly 4,000 miles with 2 adults, 4 kids, and 2 dogs in one vehicle (along with all our luggage, snacks, and Christmas gifts) – yeah, we made memories! Of course, it is always so good to get back home and get settled back into (somewhat of a normal) routine, and that’s where we’re at now.
Not too long before we left, maybe early December, our
master bedroom closet experienced a catastrophic transformation. Ha. (I can sort
of laugh about it now.) Imagine, if you will, a quiet house in the early
morning hours. (Except it wasn’t actually that early. And, if I remember right,
the kids were already starting to stir. I probably should have been up by then,
but PJ had just come home and gone to sleep after getting off work, and being
next to him and sleeping for a little while longer myself won out over
breakfast and chores. Anyway… it FELT like the early morning hours to me. 😁) Not
too long after I drifted back to sleep there was an enormous crash. I woke up
screaming because (obviously) I didn’t know what was going on. PJ was just
tired, and I think a bit annoyed at being woken up, because he said to me, “Why
are you screaming?” like it was no big deal. Clearly, I was screaming because
it sounded like the roof was falling in! I mean, come on! 😜 Upon
investigating, the source of the disturbance became quite clear. The big, 7-foot-long,
jam-packed-full shelf (and attached clothing rod) in our bedroom closet had
decided it had had enough and attempted to detach itself from the wall. It
mostly succeeded and was left dangling at a crazy angle by a few determined support
bars. All the boxes and things up top had been deposited onto the floor, and
the clothing was in a giant heap underneath it all. In hindsight… that poor
shelf was probably WAY overloaded. The dumb thing, though, is that it had been
that way for over a year before it “randomly” decided to fall off the
wall. I say “randomly” because there is a slight chance that it may have been
my fault that it came down. Maybe. 😬 About a week before it
happened, PJ had been looking for something in the closet and took down a plastic
tote. It got left on the floor for a time, but just hours before everything
fell, I had been cleaning up and had put it back. We had just your basic white
wire closet shelving, and what PJ thinks happened is that I accidentally
unhooked one of the support bars when I replaced the tote, and that may have been
enough to send it to the floor. The tote did kind of catch on something on the
edge of the shelf a little, but I didn’t think much about it at the time. Oops.
A couple of days later we stopped in at the home store. I
think, originally, we were just going to price out a replacement shelf and
support bars since our old ones sustained some damage during the fall and
couldn’t be put back up. We found what we were looking for right away. Then, PJ
said, “…or, would you rather have something like this?” which led us to walk a
little farther down the aisle to look at some other options. We may or may not
have gotten sucked in by all the different closet displays – which became progressively
more elaborate and appealing the farther we walked. And we may or may not have
decided to redesign and remodel the entire thing by the time we left the store.
(I’m guessing there’s a pretty good reason that they take the time to set up
those fancy, space-consuming displays…) Being that we were simultaneously
prepping for both Christmas and a road trip at that time, as well as trying to fit in
as many school days as possible before vacation, fixing the closet was not exactly
of highest priority. It was going to have to wait until after our trip, so as a
result, our bedroom was a huge mess for about two whole months. All those
closet contents had to go somewhere, after all, so they got piled all around
the room wherever they fit (and even where they didn’t). We even had a bathtub
full of clothing for a while, until I finally folded it all and put it in a
suitcase (don’t worry… we have a separate shower…).
Fast-forward past Christmas and the trip, and it was time to
tackle our project. I had an idea of how I wanted it to look, but PJ is the one
who had the skills and expertise to make it happen. My plan wasn’t terrible,
but there were a few problems with it. PJ made some modifications so that it
would turn out better, and then we worked together to build it. Now that it’s
done, we think it looks fantastic, and it is really a lot sturdier, and a
better use of the available space, when compared to what we had before. When we
started putting our things back in the closet, it turned out to be a good time
to declutter, too. So, all in all, it wasn’t a bad thing that it happened the
way it did (though it didn’t exactly seem positive at the beginning of it).
If the shelf had not fallen, we probably never would have
changed anything in our closet. We really had no motivation to make any
adjustments as long as it was doing its job properly. But fall it did, which in
turn prompted us to put forth some effort and make the changes which greatly
improved the closet’s functionality for us. Not unlike the closet, I myself
would probably never change if left to my own devices. If everything was
predictable and happened exactly as I planned, I’d really have no reason to.
I’d find what worked for me and continue living that way probably forever. However,
like water in a pond that lacks the proper drainage, I would eventually become
stagnant. Nothing grows without changing in some way. If I didn’t change as I
grew, my life would reflect my inability to move and I wouldn’t end up being a
good wife, mother, or friend.
Everything that happens in our lives has the potential to
influence how we change and grow – be it positive or negative in results. What
makes the difference? God is the key. Unless God is leading and guiding us, the
change resulting from a negative situation will likely be negative in nature –
hardening our heart, distancing us from others, making us more vulnerable to
the devil’s temptations, separating us from the body of Christ. God is the key…
but we (and our attitudes) are the lock. If we are inflexible, bitter,
self-centered, angry, or closed off, we are like a rusted old lock that has
seized up and will not turn. It is necessary for us to soften towards the Lord,
put our hope and faith in Him, and allow Him to have unfettered access into our
lives – every part of them – to affect real change. Just as it was necessary for
me to be flexible in regards to the design I laid out for the closet so that my
husband could use his construction experience to make it better, so we also
need to defer to the expert – the very One who set the world in motion and
designed life itself. Nothing surprises Him! He already knows what we are going
to face in every season of our life.
Yes, God will work on our hearts, but the final outcome does
depend on us, too. It will be necessary for us to work at it, and it won’t
always be easy. We’ll need to do hard things, like forgive someone who wronged
us, for example. It will require perseverance and determination to keep moving
in the right direction. God won’t force us to accept His guidance, either. We’ll
have to strive to stay open to the Lord and be sensitive to how He is leading
us.
To be honest, you likely won’t see the value in times like
these when you’re in the trenches. You may not even realize how they benefited you
until years later. That’s where trust in God is vital. Many of the times I want
to look back on with disdain are the very times I NEEDED the most. I couldn’t
recognize it then, but I’m starting to see it now. They’ve made me who I am
today by bringing about necessary change. That doesn’t mean there was anything
enjoyable about those times at all, or that I would care to repeat them –
simply that I can recognize the value they hold by what they did in my life
through the transforming power of God. And also, I can picture where I’d be at
if the resultant change hadn’t happened.
Have I always experienced positive change as a result of
negative events? No. There are definitely times when I have allowed my emotions
to run off with me and dictate my responses, rather than turning things over to
the Lord and allowing Him to lead me. Even in areas where I have experienced
positive growth, dwelling on the pain of the associated past events can
sometimes tempt me to adjust my current response to them and give way to anger,
unforgiveness, and bitterness. I don’t always work at cultivating an attitude
that is receptive towards change. God isn’t done working on me – that’s a
lifelong process. 😊
As I post this, we have just entered the season of Lent. This
is traditionally a time to do some self-examination as we approach the Easter
season and reflect on all that Jesus has done for us. It’s a time set aside to
take stock of our lives – count our inventory, if you will. Are we holding onto
anxiety? Stockpiling bitterness or unforgiveness? Retaining pain or fear caused
by traumatic events? Is there something you’re facing now, or have faced in the
past, that you need to give over to the Lord so that He can work in your life? Of course, you can do self-examination anytime
– not just during Lent – but many times we don’t because we really just want to
keep putting it off for as long as possible. I’d encourage us all (myself
included) not to wait any longer. Put aside hesitation or fear, take a good,
hard look, and spend a lot of time in prayer over it. God is faithful.
(Talking to your pastor or a Christian counselor is often very beneficial, so don’t hesitate to seek help if you need it.)
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:
The old has gone, the new is here!"
- 2 Corinthians 5: 17 (NIV)
