A Sparrow in Hand

Apparently, birds enjoy half-ripe tomatoes. We learned that this summer. The first of the tomatoes in our garden were just about ready to pick, and we were waiting in anticipation. Then one day we noticed odd, triangular gashes appearing on the orangey-red, not-quite-ripe fruits. Birds! And they weren’t even always eating the whole tomato – mostly just biting into it and leaving the rest to rot. Grrr. The kids kept an eye on the garden and caught the culprits red-handed (red-beaked?) – a small, but persistent, flock of noisy, black grackles. I hung up some shiny aluminum pie plates to attempt to scare them off and ordered a piece of garden netting. When it arrived, PJ and I draped it over top of the plants and tucked it snugly down around the sides. Those birds weren’t going to ruin our whole harvest! When we installed the net, I remember mentioning to the kids that we needed to keep an eye out, as birds could potentially become entangled in it and need us to rescue them. I remember that happening once or twice in my family’s small strawberry patch when I was growing up. Fortunately, the first week passed by incident-free… and the next… and the next…

Summer rolled on, hot and dry, then hardly skipped a beat as the seasons changed. We normally have a decent frost, if not a hard freeze, by mid-September, but early fall was unseasonably warm this year and we were still harvesting tomatoes into early October. (This past week, however, I was shoveling 2–3-foot snow drifts off of our driveway… but I digress.)

Anyway…

It was late September. The netting remained in place around the tomatoes, though we hadn’t seen any birds near the garden since our first bout with that thieving flock of grackles. At least, that was true until a couple of weeks ago. PJ was at work, and the kids and I were having a rather lazy day at home. A couple of the kids had colds and weren’t feeling the greatest, so we had been lounging around the house, watching some TV and resting. At some point, our younger son looked out the window and spotted a few birds in the garden near the tomatoes. He called me over to take a look. (I’m a bit of a bird nerd, and the kids know that, so they’re always asking me to identify whatever feathered friend – fiend??? – they’ve spotted.) By the time I left the kitchen and walked over to the window, however, two of the birds had flown off. I was, though, just in time to see the third one frantically flapping as it tried to get away from the netting. The boys and I quickly went outside. It was a rescue mission!

The bird, a sparrow, was clearly quite distressed by its current situation. Somehow it had managed to get itself underneath the net, and I thought it was also entangled in the fine mesh. As I approached it, however, it took off and flew to the other side of the tomato patch… and straight into the other side of the netting. I tried a second time to get near it, and for a second time it took off in the opposite direction, but it was still foiled by the barely visible netting and became trapped yet again. At last, I managed to get hold of the frightened creature. It briefly stopped struggling as I gently and carefully disentangled it.

It really is a privilege to behold the intricacies of creation up close. From a distance we see a small, plain, brown bird. Up close, it seems to undergo a Cinderella-type transformation right before our eyes, as we begin to notice the many colors and variations in its feathers and the minute details in its eyes, beak, and feet. They are smaller and lighter than you think they should be, and when in hand it feels like you’re holding almost nothing but a bit of fluff. Though I was working quickly, I was in awe of every tiny detail – each and every part of which was meticulously thought out by a loving Creator. Every last feature speaking of Him.

I almost had the little guy completely freed when I relaxed my hand ever so slightly to try and get a piece of the net that looked like it was stuck under or wrapped around its wing. The bird had been biding its time, and took full advantage of that moment as it exploded out of my hand and upward into the sky. So close to my face it was that I could feel the puffs of air created by its wingbeats. The boys and I watched as it flew a short distance to the fence at the bottom of our yard, where it perched and rested for quite a long while, beak wide open, trying to regain its composure after its perceived near-death experience.

It felt satisfying to release the bird back to freedom. A good deed done for the day, and something to interrupt the monotony. I went back inside, got busy cleaning up the house a bit and caring for sick kids, and didn’t think much more of the experience at all.

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The next evening, I went to Women’s Bible Study at our church. It was the first night of a new study, and as an opener we were given a sheet of paper with the following questions to consider:

1. Which name and attribute of Jesus have you most depended on in this season of your life, and why?

2. Which name and attribute of Jesus do you need to grow more in understanding and dependence upon – and why?

Attached pages included many names and attributes of Jesus for us to mull over. We took several minutes to write out our answers, and then were given the opportunity to share. As I listened to the ladies around me expressing their thoughts, I noticed that many of their responses were quite similar to what I had jotted down on my own paper. [Side Note: We often tend to convince ourselves that we are alone in our struggles, but it’s just not true. Taking time to fellowship with others can relieve that feeling of isolation by helping us to realize that there are others who are at the same place we are, or have been at that place in the past. Building healthy relationships that provide mutual understanding and support can benefit all of us greatly as we navigate the often muddy waters of life.]

Partway through the sharing time, one dear friend was sharing a story about obedience and apple fritters when she said, “I held it in my hand…” and raised her cupped hand to demonstrate how she was holding the item in question. The bird instantly flashed into my thoughts. I remembered how I had held it in my hand, with my fingers cupped around its body to hold its wings still as I freed it from the net. I thought of how afraid it was, though I was only there to help. And I thought, “Am I scared of my Savior?”

Are you scared of your Savior? That’s kind of a weird question, and right off the bat you may say, “No. Of course not.” (And you might also be thinking, “Are you crazy?”) Allow me to explain. In the situation with the bird, I was its savior. Its only hope for rescue. Its only path to freedom. And yet, it was terrified. It tried desperately to get away from me. It did not know what I was doing, and it feared the worst. The little sparrow was afraid of its very savior… and as I sat there at Bible Study with that group of women, what I realized is that I can be The. Very. Same. Way. Not that I’m necessarily trying to run away from God, or escape from His presence, but definitely that I allow myself to get worked up and anxious when I don’t know what He is doing in my life, or when I feel like I cannot see Him working in a certain situation.

When it came to my turn to share, I answered the first question by saying that within this season of my life (roughly the last two years or so), I have most depended upon Jesus as Provider, Advocate, and Redeemer; and I have relied heavily upon His faithfulness and trustworthiness. Then, I also shared that I realized that my answer to the second question – what I need to grow more in understanding and dependence upon – was roughly the same as my answer to the first question! I explained how, even though I have seen God clearly and experienced His goodness in these specific ways (and also in others), I still have an inclination to struggle in those same areas when I face something new (or even when I face an old struggle for a second, or tenth, time). I told the story of the bird and its fear of its savior, and I expressed how I think I am like the bird. Sometimes I seem to be afraid of my Savior. When I don’t know what God is doing (which, let’s face it, is probably most of the time), that’s a real big opportunity for me to allow fear to take over. It invades my thoughts. It affects my actions. It tries to convince me that, even though God was trustworthy the last time, it doesn’t mean that He will be this time… after all, this is a totally different situation! My fear wants to rule my life, but my fear is a lie and it comes from the father of lies, who would like nothing more than for me to doubt my God.

“Hold up. Isn’t the fear of God Biblical?” you may be asking. Well… yes, and no. When the Bible talks about the fear of the Lord and how that is a good thing – a discipline we should practice – it isn’t speaking of actual fright. It doesn’t mean that we should feel like cowering or running away when God draws near to us. It doesn’t mean that we need to be afraid of God’s plans and actions in our lives. The following verses will provide some context:

“You who fear the Lord, praise him! All you descendants of Jacob, honor him! Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!”

- Psalm 22: 23 (NIV)

“Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world revere him. For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.”

- Psalm 33: 8-9 (NIV)

“But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.”

- Psalm 33: 18 (NIV)

“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.”

- Psalm 40: 3 (NIV)

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

- Proverbs 9: 10 (NIV)

“The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, turning a person from the snares of death.”

- Proverbs 14: 27 (NIV)

The fear of the Lord is mentioned in these verses right alongside of such terminology as, “praise,” “honor,” “revere,” “hope,” “love,” “deliver,” “trust,” “wisdom,” and “fountain of life.” So what is the fear of the Lord? Among the definitions of “fear” at merriam-webster.com, we see what we are looking for: “profound reverence and awe especially toward God.” The other definitions of fear just don’t fit here. We cannot genuinely praise and honor someone we are terrified of. We won’t revere someone who uses their power to intimidate and manipulate us. We don’t fully place our hope or trust in an individual who scares us. In no way can fright be described as a “fountain of life.” As I’ve heard it explained, to fear the Lord means to revere Him, to honor Him, to respect who He is. Fearing the Lord means acknowledging His supreme authority. It is looking with wonder at the power displayed in His creation, and realizing that the Creator himself is immeasurably more mighty. It is being intensely humbled and falling on our knees in grateful worship when the gravity of what Jesus did for us on the cross hits us. It is admitting that we are sinners in desperate need of His grace and love.

When I was younger, I didn’t understand the fear of the Lord at all. To me, at that time, fear was fear (as in being afraid). I knew that didn’t quite add up with what I knew of God… but it was one of those things I was really confused by, and if it was clearly explained to me back then, it definitely didn’t sink in. I think I have a little better grasp of it now, but, as in most things, I’m sure there is a lot more to learn. We should always be students!

So, am I afraid of my Savior? Here’s my answer: I don’t feel like I’m afraid of God, but often, when I’m facing something I don’t know how to deal with, I act like I am. I display this in various ways as I try to handle things on my own instead of trusting and relying on Him. PJ and I have moved relatively often since we’ve been married, and each time we did (with maybe one exception), it was because we felt specifically directed by God to relocate to a certain area. Our most recent move was about a year ago. Now, being no stranger to the moving process, and also having had very specific confirmations that it was the right time and place for us to make that change, you would think that it would have felt like smooth sailing. However, I definitely dealt with a lot of anxiety and stress over a period of several long months, and I constantly questioned if we were actually doing the right thing. (“Did God really say…?”) That’s just one example, but I could name others. Other situations where, despite God’s continued faithfulness and provision, I still worry each and every time I run up against them. He knows everything I am facing now and will ever face in the future, and He has my best interests at heart. He’s not going to suddenly leave me alone in a proverbial ditch somewhere and run off to go do something else. He’s just not. He’s going to be faithful because that is who He is! He cannot possibly be unfaithful because that would go against His very nature. Yes, I am free to make my own decisions – even if what I choose isn’t the best and/or even if it is outside of God’s perfect will for my life – but even when I do that, He is always with me, walking alongside me, waiting for me to turn back and do things His way instead. My fear – my anxiety and worry and stress – that’s proof of my own failings, not His. He’s never done anything to deserve my doubt or mistrust.

“I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God! He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.” 

- Deuteronomy 32: 3-4 (NIV)

Life isn’t perfect, of course. Even when we are doing things God’s way. There are bills to pay, illnesses to deal with, relationships to work on, attitudes to adjust, unexpected disasters, and much, much more… We have a very real enemy who is working overtime to overwhelm and distract us. He tries to throw that netting of confusion over us and trap us. His goal is to get us to stay focused on ourself, because he knows that we are a threat to him if we stay focused on the Lord and keep a Kingdom mindset. We are, however, no measurable threat at all when we are focused on ourself. What can we do? How can we counteract this nefarious strategy? Prayer. Obedience. Trust. The sparrow could have relaxed in my hand as I worked to release it. It would have been completely safe. How much stress it could have saved itself if only it had known its savior! When I am having trouble setting aside my fear and placing my trust in my Savior, I should begin by reminding myself who He is. Read the Word. Jot down the names, attributes, and promises of God that I find there. Post them where I can see them every day. Pray and thank Him for his faithfulness. Thank Him for rescuing me. Trust that He will work all things together for good.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

- Romans 8: 14-15 (NIV)

Same type of sparrow (juvenile white-crowned sparrow), having a rather more relaxing day.

Being Still

A picture is worth a thousand words… except when it doesn’t tell the whole story.

This looks like an idyllic scene, doesn’t it? A glassy lake hosting a myriad of waterfowl upon its untroubled waters and reflecting a vivid sunset sky. Take a deep breath and relax in the peaceful moment…

Ah! But wait! Not everything here is as it seems to be!

Let me tell you a little more about this picture. I snapped this picture on an evening walk with three other adults and six children ranging in age from 2 to 12. They are family, and were thoroughly enjoying a rare time together, as they live in different states. The path around the lake was wide and the kids used every inch of it, and then some. Bugs, leaves, dirt, and birds all needed to be dutifully and thoroughly inspected while the adults chatted and took photos. The kids’ favorite part was seeing all the goslings! They were at that awkward, halfway-grown stage. Their feet looked too big for their bodies, and feathers were starting to take the place of baby down. Oddly, they were somehow still pretty cute. Besides the geese, the lake was well populated with all manner of other waterfowl, shorebirds, and song birds. It was not, by any means, quiet before we arrived, and it was even less quiet after. Adding to the cacophony of honks, quacks, and hollers… there was the auditory delight (to some, I suppose) of a large carnival taking place directly across the street. At the moment I took this photo we were nearing the end of our stroll, and it was clearly getting close to bedtime, too. I saw the scene and it framed up nicely both in my mind and through my viewfinder, so onto the memory card it went. I didn’t realize how nice it turned out until I loaded it onto my computer.

That’s when I thought, “Oh, I should add a verse and share this to the Faith Undaunted page! How about… ‘Be still… (Psalm 46:10).’ Yes, that seems fitting. It looks like such a calming, relaxing scene. So peaceful.” However, after I added the verse, but before I shared it, it occurred to me how contradictory that seemed, considering the backstory that I know about the pic. Now, I could have shared it without telling you anything about it. You might have imagined me sitting on a bench before this view, soaking in the last few rays of sunlight and watching the ducks float silently around. The message from the verse is to “Be still and know that I am God,” and it certainly seems like a place you’d want to sit and be still. But for me, there was nothing still about that moment. That moment was filled with busily buzzing children, friendly chatter, road noise, all manner of bird noises, and was punctuated by screams from those unfortunate people who decided to strap themselves into a nauseating carnival ride. 😉

It makes me wonder… In general, do we tend to wait for “picture-perfect,” peaceful moments to be still and spend time with God? Are we relying on our feelings and emotions to dictate when and where we choose to acknowledge our Lord and Savior for who He is? I don’t mean that I think we are waiting for a beautiful lakeside sunset to read our Bible… I just wonder if we’re sometimes waiting for that tranquil feeling in our life before we take the time to be awed by who God is, and to praise Him.

The phrase, “Be still and know that I am God,” comes from Psalm 46. I’m sure you’ve heard that part of the Psalm before. It’s often quoted. Could you say what is in the entire Psalm, though? Do you know it? I admit that I didn’t. I mean, I’d read it before, but I couldn’t have told you offhand what was in the verses surrounding the admonition to, “Be still.” When I looked it up to find the reference for the picture, I found the verse but didn’t read the whole thing. Then, after I thought about the story behind the picture, I went back to see the context. Let’s take a look at it:

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 

Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way 

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 

though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy place where the Most High dwells.

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth.

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.

He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire.

He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.’

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

-Psalm 46 (NIV)

Thoughts? Is that what you were expecting? Quaking mountains? Roaring and foaming waters? Uproar? Falling kingdoms? Yeah, that’s not what I was expecting either. I was anticipating more of a Psalm 23 feeling. What we’re so often unwilling to acknowledge is that things in our life might look different than we expected. We expected a storybook marriage and family, but our reality feels like chaos compared to what we dreamed of. We thought we’d take a certain career path, only to find out that it’s not a good fit for us after all. We pictured ourself owning a beautiful home, but 10 years later we’re still renting. Besides that, we never imagined ourselves to be facing things like financial problems, sickness, wayward children, mental illness, persecution, or a pandemic. We can get so caught up with everything that is happening in and around our lives that we start to spiral downwards. We get focused on the problems. Maybe we don’t forget God – we still go to church (but are we just going through the motions?), we still read our Bible (but are we understanding it or only seeing the words?), we still pray (but do our prayers solely consist of pleas for God to help us?) – but are we remembering who He is? I don’t want that to come across wrong… if all we can manage at times is to go through the motions, it IS still important to keep on doing that. God will meet us where we’re at, and if where we’re at is rock bottom, God will still meet us there. His faithfulness to us is not dependent AT ALL upon our faithfulness to Him, and we need to be incredibly thankful for that! However, with that said, I do want to challenge us. When Jesus told the wind and the waves to be still in Mark 4: 35-41, it was a command – and they obeyed. The very air and water transformed from a state of raging turmoil to one of calmness. Why? Because even the AIR and the WATER knew – know! – who Jesus is! Their obedience shows a recognition of His sovereignty. God can speak to the storms in our lives and tell them to be still and they will… or He can speak to us and tell us to be still in the middle of the storm. Will we??? Will we say to our wildly spiraling thoughts, “Stop it!” Will we praise God for who He is, and thus acknowledge Him as greater than our storms? Will we thank Him for what He’s doing in our lives, even if we don’t know what that all is going to look like in the end?

I guess what I’m driving at is this: The command is not to be still only when it’s quiet outside, or be still just when you feel at peace, or be still every time your life is going exactly how you want it to. Nah, I read this as be still when your world is falling apart. When your happily-ever-after dreams seem out of reach. Be still in the midst of the storm. When your reality is far removed from your expectations. Be still NO MATTER WHAT. Why? Because HE IS GOD! We can trust Him. He is faithful. He truly loves us and has our best interests at heart. 

He is worthy. He is worthy. He is worthy.

God in the Details

It's so easy to get distracted by the big things in nature - isn't it? Our attention is drawn by the things that stand out. A towering storm cloud. An enormous tree. A snow-capped mountain range. Even in our lives, sometimes all we can see is the "mountain" in front of us, and it can feel overwhelming.

On a recent camping trip, we found these tiny land snails - no bigger than a child's fingernail. There were fantastic views of grand landscapes, too (we were in the Black Hills of South Dakota), but what really caught my attention were the snails. We found them underneath rocks, and we could have easily walked past them for the entire trip and never known they were there. Such a small, seemingly insignificant thing when viewed against the enormity of the area they live in... and yet, they were so perfectly detailed. The beautiful patterns in their shells, the intricacies of their colors, the role they play in the ecosystem, and the daintiness of their tiny bodies... It really made me think.

 

God cared about a tiny snail, that many people will never see, enough to make it perfect. He is present in every area of our lives, and He cares about even the tiny details. In fact, Psalm 37: 23 says that He delights in the details of our lives. So many times, God provides something in our lives just to make us smile - a sunset, the song of a bird, an unexpected blessing "just because." And yet, when we are facing a mountain of some type, many times all we can see is the difficulty. We see the bills and don't know how they will be paid. We see the struggle and don't know how we will overcome it. We see the pain and don't know how we will heal. 

 

God shows us a bit of His glory in His creation - in the details - maybe so that we will see and remember that He cares about every detail of our lives. Look for the small things - look, and remember. God is here. He is with us. We need not worry.

Watch Your Step!

Our family logged quite a few miles on foot during the last week and a half. We had visitors in town and took the opportunity to get outside and go exploring. Our wanderings took us from the mountains to the prairies and various places in between. 

 

We had been doing 2-4 miles at a time, but (unintentionally) saved our longest hike for the last day of the visit. By the time we hit the trail yesterday we had already logged more than 15 miles, and we added 5 more by the end of the day. The kids did great overall, but we definitely noticed signs of tiredness from our youngest in particular. By the time we got back to the trailhead in the afternoon, she had tripped, stumbled, and fallen down countless times, and needed to be carried for some of the journey to give her tired legs a break.

 

Today we're getting back into our usual routine, but I've still got hiking on the brain. In between the everyday stuff, I've been going through the many, many photos I took on our expeditions. This one has got to be one of my favorites. I love how the path winds through the grove of aspens. It was even more pretty in person.

 

Whether speaking of hiking, or of life in general, it's vital to keep watch over where your feet are headed. Our daughter's fatigue contributed to her stumbling as we got farther down the trail because she was less careful about where she was stepping than she had been at first. In our lives, sometimes we get tired, too. Or we just let down our guard, or become complacent. Sometimes we even intentionally overlook the hazards in our path - our misguided thinking convincing us that it will still be okay if we head that way. I love how this verse from Proverbs reminds us to choose our path and place our steps with care; and I'm grateful for the promise of God's redeeming grace for the times when we do stumble and fall.

 

Muddy-Paw Days

It’s springtime! Isn’t it great? As much as I love fall and winter, I can still agree that there’s something special about spring. It’s exciting to watch the world wake up when the ground warms up and thaws out. Everything outdoors is alive and growing. I love hearing the meadowlarks singing in the distance outside my back door and seeing the trees cover their bare branches with new leaves. I can’t wait to get some planting done, though here in WY we’ve got a few more weeks before the danger of frost is gone.

Our new house has a great big backyard – significantly bigger than the backyard we had where we lived before. There’s room for a nice sized garden and everything! We were all pretty excited about it when we moved in – especially the kids and the dogs. The kids were pulling each other around the space in my old wooden wagon and planning all sorts of activities they were going to do. Of course, due to the time of year we moved in, it soon became less attractive to be outside as often – brrr! And then it snowed. Now, we haven’t had a whole lot of snow this year overall, but, nevertheless; a problem has become apparent, which is aggravated even more as the ground now begins to thaw…

I love outdoor spaces. I dreamt of acreage as we were house shopping, but budget constraints put a large yard on my list of hoped-for items instead. Soo… I’m not complaining about the space, exactly. I do like it. And I’m okay with some yard work and maintenance. But… there is an issue… with melting snow (or rain) and MUD. The grass is kind of thin overall, and nonexistent in spots. We also have dogs that enjoy spending a large part of the day outside. Whatever the weather, they run around and play and come to the door to be let in… and when they come in, they now bring a good portion of our yard with them. Ugh! Our 2-year-old Labrador has the typical 2-year-old Labrador enthusiasm, which regularly sends her tail into a frenzy, spraying droplets of mud across furniture and walls. Then we also have a Corgi, and he collects probably a cupful (or more) of dirt on his low-slung underbelly and deposits it liberally wherever he goes. Both of them grace the kitchen floor, rugs, and carpets with chunks of earth and large, brown pawprints (not to mention the springtime shedding explosion that’s happening simultaneously). The vacuum and the mop are indispensable right now, to say the least.

 

 

A little while ago it finally dried out after about two solid weeks of muddy mayhem, so I bathed the dogs – which was no small undertaking. The aftermath required me to deep clean the entire bathroom, too (you should have seen my walls!), so this was an entire half-day project. The two of them were so nice and clean and they smelled lovely… for three days. Then it snowed again (of course), and two days later the mud was back, too. Isn’t spring so lovely? Oh, to be a dog and not care how dirty you are!

Mud. It’s just part of life – whether or not you have a dog. Literal mud… and figurative mud. Getting through the tough times in life can sometimes feel like wallowing in deep mud. You’re moving, but not getting anywhere very quickly, and everything looks and feels a mess.

When PJ and I faced each other a little over a year ago and recognized how broken our marriage had become, we were at a crossroads. Where would we go from there? It really didn’t take a whole lot of discussion for us to come to the determination that we both wanted to work on things, but it has been a long journey we’ve been on since that point. God has brought much healing and restoration into our lives, but there have been many challenges as well. It definitely has been, and continues to be, a process. Sometimes marriage - and life - feel a bit like our backyard looks. There are times when the ground is solid, and things are really good. Walking is easy. We might have to brush a little dust off of our feet from time to time, but overall it’s pretty smooth sailing. Then it rains. Or snows. Maybe a little, maybe a lot; but either way, it creates some “mud.” Past hurts, current offenses, miscommunications and misunderstandings, selfishness and pride, anxiety, difficult circumstances… things like these have us collecting some muck in our minds, making it harder to continue moving forward. I’m betting you can identify with this as well. Whether in marriage, other relationships, or just life circumstances in general, we all go through these times.

 

To be sure, I’m not writing this from the perspective of a person who has everything figured out! There have been plenty of times when I wished that God would just come in with a pressure washer and blast all the grime away in an instant, never to return, so that I could be done with all the mess just like that. However, I think it’s important to recognize that there is value in the “cleaning” process. I think that’s why God doesn’t just rush in to rescue us from every little difficulty every single time we run into one. We try not to do that when teaching our children, so why do would we expect our heavenly Father to do it with us? We love our kids and want them to be able to problem-solve later in life, so sometimes we have to allow them to figure something out instead of reaching in and doing it for them right away. Of course, we are there beside them to offer assistance if and when it’s needed, but there is importance in them learning to work through some challenging things, too. We would do a disservice to them if we always did everything for them. Just like our kids, we ourselves learn perseverance in the process of working through things. We learn how to move towards our goal instead of attempting to run from our problems. We learn how to communicate more effectively. We learn more about each other – and about our own selves. We learn to trust God because, time and again, He has proven to us that He always is, and always will be, there to help us through. As He shows us His faithfulness, our confidence in Him should only grow deeper. He’s not going to leave us in the mud. He desires for us to walk on solid ground again, and for our experiences in the low places to be a learning opportunity for us – and not only for us, but also for those around us who have seen and heard our testimony. David speaks to this through his words in Psalm 40:

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.”

-Psalm 40: 1-3 (NIV)

Just as I don’t really enjoy the muddy-paw days of spring, I also don’t really enjoy the muddy-life times. I’m sure very few of us do. There are things in the past that I wish I could delete as easily as I can delete a typo and leave no hint that it was ever there. Well… sort of. I sort of wish that, in a way. As much as I wish certain things had never happened, I also wouldn’t want to trade the lessons that I learned as I walked through those times. I’m not really thankful for the tough times themselves, but I’m more than a little grateful for what God taught me as He walked me through them, and I’m grateful for my “new song.”

So, wherever you’re at – cruising along on solid ground or slogging through knee-deep mire – remember to thank God for His constant presence in your life. Deal with the mud as it comes. Face it head-on with God by your side, and be open to what you can learn in the process. There will be drier days ahead.

 

The Art of Spiritual Mentoring

I'm really excited about today's post! A few weeks ago, I had been thinking about writing a post on spiritual mentoring as sort of a follow-up to the series I did recently on the importance of living in community with other believers (you can read the series here: "The Community of Believers"). Supporting each other in the Christian walk is a big part of living in community, and mentoring is an important Biblical concept that can be a great way to support another believer, or to receive support yourself. PJ and I have been blessed to have each had several spiritual mentors over the years, and we've had a few people we've mentored as well. We definitely recognize the benefits and the importance of this practice. Our mentors have been able to speak into our lives in many different areas, and we have valued their Godly advice and guidance. When we were first married and just starting out in ministry, we had a more experienced pastor couple take us under their wing and mentor us in the areas of ministry and marriage. This was invaluable to us. Since then, we've also had several others that have continued with us in that arena, and we have gained so much through their involvement in our lives. As I considered what I wanted to write, though, I was honestly feeling a bit overwhelmed. I didn't know where to start. Then, God brought someone to my mind: a couple who is very close to PJ and I (haha... that's really an understatement), and who just happens to have a wealth of knowledge to share on this very subject. I asked if they would be willing to author a guest post for the blog, and here we are! The following is written by PJ's parents, Darryl and Joyce Henson. They are the leaders of InStep Ministries International - and their main objective is raising up and mentoring spiritual leaders in Eastern Europe. I hope that you are as blessed and inspired by what they have to share as I have been!

The Art of Spiritual Mentoring

by: Darryl Henson, with Joyce Henson

A young man whom I know stopped me on the street one day and, after greeting me with generalities, asked me a question. He said, "Hey, do you meet guys for breakfast?" I smiled at the way he hinted at his interest in my helping him. I asked him if he wanted to meet with me sometime, and he agreed he did. He has been only one of many individuals over the years who approached me with the same intention. Once I started mentoring one man, I discovered that there were many more who were looking for the same. Today, I give most of my time to mentor pastors and other church leaders. Have you considered that there are more people in our sphere of influence who are looking for a mentor than we will ever know?

You may think mentoring is a good idea, but maybe you are not certain that it is valuable enough to give your time to others in this way. Or maybe you have considered it and have passed the notion off because you feel inadequate or ill-prepared for this kind of ministry. Let's look at the value and the requirements together in this writing.

The scriptures inform us that God desires his followers to pass on our spiritual knowledge, experience, and insights to the next generation. See Deuteronomy 6: 6-7: "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." (NKJV)

The apostle Paul also instructed his mentoree, Timothy, to pass on what he had imparted into his life to the next generations of believers. See 2 Timothy 2: 2: "And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also." (NKJV)

In the context of spiritual mentoring, we are seeing the words "spiritual mothering and fathering" used more often. My friend, Larry Kreider, director of Dove Fellowship International, gives helpful definition to these terms: 

"What it is: Spiritual fathers and mothers: mentors or coaches - are in a place to help sons and daughters negotiate the obstacles of their spiritual journeys. A spiritual father helps a spiritual son reach his God-given potential."

My wife, Joyce, has been mentoring young women for several years. I asked her to share some of her perspective on being a spiritual mom and mentor. She writes, "Mentoring women is as natural as being a mother. Sometimes we don't know what to do, but if we just follow our instincts, we find the way. Most importantly, be an example that you want others to follow. If you have a gift, share it with others. I love to cook and enjoy teaching, so when I find young women who never learned their way around the kitchen, I enjoy showing them how to cook simple dishes. Then they can feel good about their successes and are motivated to try more. As I am spending time together with a young woman, I can also share what God is doing in my life and encourage them in their spiritual walk. Just like children follow after their parents, so our spiritual children are looking to us for guidance and spiritual mentoring."

Throughout the Scriptures we have several examples and models of spiritual parenting. A few of them include: Jesus, who modeled spiritual fatherhood to His twelve disciples; Paul, who discipled young Timothy; Elijah, who became a spiritual parent to Elisha; and Moses, who trained and released Joshua to be a notable leader.

With the Scripture's clarity on the value of mentoring, and the evident desire of those seeking to be mentored, why may we not be mentoring others? Too often we fall into a self-complex that we have nothing to offer another person. We may say that we are a simple or common person with no special knowledge, experience, or insights. We sell ourselves short on this basis.

Knowledge is the information you have gained from education, whether it be formal or informal. We also gain knowledge from others who are willing to share what they have learned with us. Mentors need only to have a knowledge that is a level more than the one we mentor. In the context of spiritual mentoring, if means that we must have some knowledge of God and His ways. The experience requirement is simply that the mentor has gone a few steps further on the spiritual journey in this life. The insights that you have gained through studying the Word of God, prayer, and meditation have given you something to pass on to someone else.

Sure, there are different levels of mentoring and you may not be prepared for the highest level of mentoring some need, but you begin where you are. As a mentor, remember you are still growing. The level of what you have to offer is increasing consistently. So what you have to offer today will not be the sum of what you have to offer several years later. When I began to mentor, I was in my early 20s. I didn't think I had a lot of knowledge, and certainly not a lot of experience, but I believed God put something in me to share. I simply began with listening and sharing that small amount of knowledge of God and the Scriptures with a person.

Another disadvantage that may hold us back from mentoring is the reality that we had no mentor in our own spiritual life. Of course, we may think of one or two people who led us to faith and showed us genuine care in the beginning of our journey, but they did not mentor us fully. We may look on our life and pity our self because of this lack, or we can choose to have a different perspective. If this is your situation, then use your lack to turn around and provide for another what you desired for yourself. You will be surprised how God will bring spiritual mentors into your life as you begin to invest in the lives of others.

I have prepared a list of helps for mentoring that I hope will help you as you mentor others. I have learned these over time, and they come out of personal experience in mentor relationships. If you are already mentoring people, you may want to consider these as a checklist to keep your relationship with the mentee healthy.

Helps for a Mentoring Relationship:

1. Know the purpose of your mentoring relationship and stick to it.
2. Know when to refer the person.
• Avoid falling to the temptation that you have all that is needed for every situation in a person's life.
  
3. Affirm the parental and supervisory authority over the person and don't undermine it.
4. Before entering a mentoring relationship, ask the person if someone else is mentoring them or helping them in their present situations and needs in their life.
5. Recognize the influence of other mentors and affirm it.
6. Determine a healthy commitment to the person in balance with other relationships (spouse, friends, children, etc.).
7. Determine realistically how many people you can mentor in a season of time.
8. Release the person when they or you feel it is time.
9. Provide the boundaries that are necessary for those you mentor.
10. Beware of the emotional trap that can interfere with rational thinking and Godly counsel.

Remember, there are many people in your life waiting for someone to come alongside of them and mentor them spiritually. God has put something in you to give them. Be bold, and begin to give your time to them.